This summer Terri Favro and I have been editing a chapbook of Noir stories and poems inspired by Ms. Pac-Man. It's called 'PAC'N HEAT.' Terri and I have been lucky enough to have received some great work from many awesome people. We've kept the list of contributors under wraps, but now we're too excited-- we can't wait any longer! (more…)
The snow glows bright on the mountain tonight
and it takes everything you've got
wouldn't you like to let it go
where everybody knows your name.
Establishing Shot: Exterior Cheers Bar, Boston Mass.
CUT TO: Interior Cheers Bar.
The door opens and ELSA (blonde, turquoise gown) walks in. All the regulars look up and shout, "ELSA!"
CLIFF CLAVIN: "How's the weather out there, Elsa?"
ELSA: "Cold. But not as cold as my heart!"
(Cue Laugh Track)
CARLA: "Sam, you can't go on dates with Elsa and Anna on the same night!"
SAM (combing his hair): "Wanna bet? And afterwards, I've got a date with a reindeer!"
SAM: "Come on, Elsa. Why do you have to be so cold?"
FRAISER: "Actually, Sam, I believe Elsa's deep-rooted personal issues stem from an intense childhood trauma, namely being responsible for almost killing her younger sister Anna. Also, she has snow powers."
CLIFF: "You know, Doc, the Ancient Aztecs invented snow."
ANNA: "Would you like to build a snowman?"
SAM: "Yeah. In my pants."
WOODY: "Where are you going, Mr. Malone?"
SAM: "I'm going to visit Norm at the methadone clinic in Weasel Town."
THE DUKE OF WEASELTON (Flipping his hairpiece back over his head): "It's pronounced 'Weaselton!'"
THE DUKE OF WEASELTON (rubbing his hands together): "Soon... soon this bar shall be mine!"
CARLA: "If that happens, I want a raise."
OLAF (Snowman, carrot nose): "Can I get a beer, please?"
WOODY: "Sorry. We don't serve your kind."
SAM: "You're dating Olaf?!?"
DIANE: "I don't care what society thinks, Sam. I love him. Also, he promised to help me with my movie career."
CARLA: "It's all about you, eh Diane?"
SAM: "Lay off Diane, Carla. I'd say she has a real chance at this movie thing."
CARLA: "Yeah. I heard she's up for the lead in Troll 2."
ANNA: "Elsa, you've got to learn to love again!"
ELSA: "But I do love someone."
Sam, Woody, Fraiser and Cliff all stand up and straighten their ties.
ELSA: "You're my sister, Anna! I love you!"
(Soundtrack: hoots, hollers, applause and laughter.)
Sam, Woody, Fraiser and Cliff all sit down, glum looks on their faces.
CARLA: "Struck out again, eh Sam?"
SAM: "Can the baseball metaphors, Carla. I'm not in the mood. Not only did I get dumped by Elsa and Anna, I also got dumped by a reindeer."
CLIFF: "You know, Sam, the Ancient Aztecs invented love."
CARLA: "Put a sock in it, Clavin."
I'm happy to report that my book "Why Not A Spider Monkey Jesus?" (with cover art by the amazing Michael Kupperman) will be for sale at the Papirmass Pop-Up Shop in Toronto! The Papirmass Pop-Up Shop will be open on Friday Dec. 12 and Saturday Dec. 13, from noon until 11 PM both days.
Check out this amazing line-up of artists and writers!
LITERARY OFFERINGS BY:
Coach House, BookThug, Little Brother Magazine, WORN Fashion Journal, Gary Barwin, Kathryn Mockler, Mathew Henderson, Brecken Hancock, Alan Reed, Carousel Magazine, Humber Literary Review, Claire Caldwell, Jacob Wren, AG Pasquella, Jenny Sampirisi, Carbon Paper, & Paper Pusher.
ARTIST BOOKS & MULTIPLES, PRINTS & OTHER WARES BY:
Jacob Whibley, Standard Form, Steven Beckly, Slow Editions, Laurie Kang, Avril Loreti, Surf The Great, Sam Dubeau, Palimpsest, Vanessa Rieger, Eric Kostiuk Williams, Daniel Rotsztain, Mary Tremonte, Love Lettering, RCBOISJOLI, Go Home Magazine, Spark Box Studio, Colour Code, & Papirmass.
AND ORIGINAL ART BY:
VSVSVS, Tessar Lo, Dyan Marie, Fiona Smyth, Neil Rough, Stephanie Cormier, Stephanie Flowers, Rajni Perera , Chris Foster, Adam Krawesky, Jen Kitagawa, Eunice Luk, Sarah Bodri, Keith Jones, Gemma Warren, JP King, Kirsten McCrea, Josh Holinaty, Mark Laliberte, Melissa Fisher, Julia Dickens, Laura Nowak, Eric Clement, Jesse Purcell, Ryan Dodgson, Anthony Cooper & Laura Dawe
Thanks for including me, Papirmass! I'm honoured to be included in such great company!
'The This & The That' is a book about America, the land of my birth. As such, there are definitely sections of the book inspired by my childhood, as you can see by following the link at the end of this passage. (The blonde kid is me!)
After The Apocalypse, The Alien Archeologists crack open The Final Vault and there lined up in dusty rows are thousands upon thousands of antique cans of Coca-Cola. The Coke is still cool and bubbly but unfortunately deadly caustic to The Aliens. Brown bubbles boil through an unfortunate Alien's digestive system, eating away twisted esophagus and leathery stomach pouch. Outside the vault mutant bluebirds grind out cracked notes, a haunted grinding gurgle of the way things used to be. Red White and Blue streamers, homemade peach ice cream, oblivious blonde children laughing happily, running with dogs.